Friendship is a funny thing.  The strongest bonds often form between the least likely people.  I spent the last week in Illinois visiting my friend Becca.  The obvious thing that we share is albinism, but that is not enough to forge the kind of friendship that causes someone to invite you into their home to hang out for a week.  Becca and I both love dogs, running, and cookies.  Those are the kinds of shared interests on which true friendship can be built.  The one thing that should be a stumbling block to us enjoying the company of one another is that there is a twenty-three year age difference between the two of us. Yes, I am theoretically old enough to be her mother.  And don’t think that that is not a common assumption made by strangers when we are out and about together. :-). How is it possible that we enjoy spending time together?  Becca may be an old soul.  I may not do a good job of acting my age.  I suspect the truth is somewhere in the middle of those two.  In the big scheme of things, age doesn’t really matter.

So what did the young and the old do to entertain ourselves during our time together?

We enjoyed long walks each day amidst the gorgeous fall colors.  Having a dog means that you spend time outside every day, something that is good for you no matter your age.  Since fall colors are not something I often see in Texas, walking amidst the colorful leaves of Illinois was a real treat for me.

I got to observe Becca teach a dog nosework class.  This is something that she has been encouraging me to try with my boy, Simon.  It was fantastic to see the live action version and to be a “student” rather than a teacher after all my years in the classroom.

We shared some recipes.  You are never too old or too young to expand your cooking repertoire.

We watched some trash TV, some comedy on Netflix, and a little news, all the while eating age-appropriate snacks – popcorn and cookies.  Guess which one of us fell asleep during the comedy.  Not this old girl!  

We got manicures and pedicures.

And, Becca helped me knock out #9 on my 60 By Sixty List…get a spray tan.  Remember that albinism thing we share?  That means we don’t naturally tan…at all, ever.

By the time we are almost sixty, most of us of seen ourselves many different ways…young and old, skinny and with some extra pounds, long hair and short hair, glasses and no glasses, dressed up and dressed down, fit and unfit…at least I have seen myself on both ends of each of these continua, but I have never seen myself with anything but pale white skin.   We’ll, that’s not exactly true.  I have had a few sunburns that turned me lobster red.  The reality is that I didn’t really want to BE tan; I just wanted to see what I looked like with a tan.   This is why I wanted to do it at this time of year, when I am wearing long pants and long sleeved shirts.  And I am also still wearing a mask.  Not much skin was showing anywhere so the tan was not even visible to anyone else.

And now I’ve done it.  I’m glad I did.  Will I do it again?  Probably not.  It would take way too much time, effort, and money to maintain since the color lasts only a week or a little less.  And, I’m not into fake.  Fake anything.  I’ve spent my entire life learning to embrace my authentic self.  There is nothing authentic about a tan person with albinism.  LOL!  Just like I would never dye my hair in an effort to hide its white.  Again, doing so would be attempting to hide the real me.  That said, blue streaks somewhere down the line are not out of the question at all..  That’s not fake, it’s fun…unless you are trying to pass yourself off as a Smurf or Thing 1 or Thing 2 from Dr. Seuss!  But blue hair is not on this year’s list, so don’t be looking for it!

I am grateful for my time with Becca and for all of the people that I have the honor of calling friends.  My circle is diverse in every way and I wouldn’t want it otherwise!

When we have a circle of friends, we have more fun.  We get more done, we feel and are stronger, and we really do celebrate the power of our ‘us.

– Mary Anne Radmacher