Rainy days, no matter the day of the week, can get you down…unless you have a plan B.  We had hoped to go to the Dallas Arboretum today to enjoy the fall display, but a forecast of 100% chance of rain, which was 100% accurate, changed our plans.  Instead, I spent the day with my grandsons indoors at their house.  

Most adults would agree that rainy days are a good day for an afternoon nap.  Lincoln, however, has not yet learned the value of sleep.  He will do anything and everything within his power to avoid sleep both day and night.  His newest sleep avoidance tactic is to climb out of his crib.  So at eighteen months old, he earned himself a “big boy” mattress on the floor.  This has not improved his sleep habits, but it has improved his safety rating somewhat.  In his little toddler mind, however, safety is not the priority.  Freedom is!  Despite having a nice new bed, Lincoln’s new freedom allows him the option to sleep on the floor, curled up in the seat of his rocker, or draped over its ottoman.  We all have  likely experienced at least once in our lifetime the reality that newly acquired freedom does not always yield the best choices.

Today at nap time Lincoln’s mama took him up to his room.  They read and rocked for a bit and then mama put him in his bed.  Before she made it back downstairs, the crying ensued, followed by the pushing and pulling on his door, which was secured from the outside.  And then there was a little less crying.

We were watching on the monitor too see what he was up to.  This kid is a free thinker and a problem solver.  He was not going to sit in his room in the dark so he managed to climb up on his dresser and flip the light switch on.  His safety rating just went down.  And this point, nana went up to see if I could encourage some sleep.  At first he wasn’t thrilled with me for thwarting his rainy day adventure, but a flip of that light switch back to the off position, a warm blanket, and cuddles with nana soon had this boy fast asleep.

I sat in Lincoln’s dark room gently rocking this sleeping boy to the rhythm of stereo raindrops.  The rain hitting his window was being echoed by the rain sounds on his noise machine.  I realized that this moment was one of absolute peace.  I had not taken my phone upstairs with me.  I had no book, not that that would have done me any good because it was dark.  I also did not have my water or a coffee cup.  I had no distractions…except my own thoughts.

I thought about when Lincoln’s mama was this age.  She also was not a fan of sleep or keeping her body safe.  She climbed out of her crib a thirteen months.  I remembered vividly how I wished that she would sleep long enough for me to fold at least one load of laundry or take a shower or make a grocery list.  I remembered how tired I was as a young mom.  I remembered how long the days, and how short the nights, felt.  I realized how quickly the time between then and now has passed.

Like his mama, every time Lincoln stirred I hoped he would stay asleep.  For me, however, this was not because I had things to do.  Rather, it was because I had nothing to do, nothing but hold this little boy and keep him comfortable, warm, and safe.  

Like Lincoln, I also found freedom being upstairs for nap time, the freedom to just be.  To be quiet.  To be still.  To not be distracted by technology.  To listen to the rain.  To feel the warmth of this precious little body against me.  To reflect.  To feel joy.  To give thanks for the two and half hours that Lincoln slept and I got to hold him.