I was out of town last weekend at Click Away, a photography conference primarily for woman, but there were a few brave men who attended, Weber being one of them.  We met several of my Capture Your 365 photography friends in Amelia Island, Florida for some fellowship and some sessions to hopefully help our grow our photography skills.

As I was packing to go, I realized that I was excited about the photography element of the trip, but I might have been even more excited about just getting away for a few days.  It’s been awhile since we’ve been travelled for a purely fun trip.  I feel like much of my life at home is navigated on auto-pilot.  Though I find routine comforting most of the time, every now and then, I need something to break that routine so that I can change my perspective both literally and figuratively.

We had to be up at 2:30 am for our 5am flight.  Thankfully, our trip was uneventful, which always helps when you are hoping for some rest and relaxation!  Our hotel room was a beautiful suite overlooking the pool and with a view of the ocean (something I loved, but Weber not so much).  The conference schedule throughout the weekend was full, but did not feel burdensome.  I had already chosen the sessions that I wanted to take during the conference, so I knew exactly what my days looked like.  Nothing started before 9:30.  The sessions that were back-to-back during the day had an hour in between; and, we had a full two hours for lunch each day.  Though much opportunity for learning happened, there was also plenty of down time to enjoy with friends.

I had a great night’s sleep on Friday night and woke up refreshed, something that doesn’t happen very often at home.  Weber and I had a quiet breakfast together at a cafe on the hotel premises before it was time for the first of our morning sessions.  As I looked at my schedule, the presentation that I was registered for was not one to which I was fully committed.  I had signed up for it because it was the best of the bunch at that particular time.  In a split second, I made the decision to skip it.  The weather was beautiful.  What I really wanted to do in that moment was to sit outside by myself and write.

So that’s what I did.

For many, making this choice doesn’t sound like any big deal, but for me, who has always done what is expected of me and done all the things to which I have committed myself, to “skip class” at the last minute was way out of character.  I had always viewed this kind of behavior as cheating, or lazy, or irresponsible.  Or, all of the above.  I still did it.

And, it felt fabulous!

I spent my moments of rebellion thinking, and writing, and being present.  What I realized is that I have spent almost my entire life living on auto-pilot.  I did all the things that I was “supposed” to do in the proper order.  I graduated from high school, went to college, got married, went to graduate school, had kids, got a job, tried to give 100% to my kids and my job, and did a bunch of extra stuff along the way.  I was always too busy and too tired to give much thought to the real “why” behind the way I was living my life.

I am finally realizing that I don’t have to live on “auto-pilot” anymore.  To use a photography analogy, I am ready to move myself to manual mode.  I’m capable of deciding what I want the picture of my life to look like and it’s time for me to choose the appropriate “settings”.

The most important thing for me to remember is that the choices are mine to make.  And, I can keep tweaking the “settings” until I get exactly the picture that I want.

As I write this, it sort of sounds like I am becoming totally self-absorbed.  Not true.  I do enjoy doing things for and with others.  Again, my goal is to choose wisely and intentionally.

I want to do the things where my talents and gifts are useful and appreciated.

I want to do the things that make my life feel beautiful in every sense of the word.

I want to do the things that bring joy to me and those around me.

That’s it.

Seems easy enough… 🙂