According to Facebook, today is Friends Day.  It is really Facebook’s birthday.  Since Facebook allows friends to stay it contact with one another over space and time, they have dubbed it Friends Day as a means of celebration.  That makes a great tie-in to the post that I intended to write several weeks ago,  before the flu so rudely messed up my plans.

The week before I got sick, my friend, Becca, came to visit from Illinois.  Having a friend come spend a few days with you is not that unusual until you consider the “generation gap” between the two of us.  Becca is in her thirties, just a few years older than my oldest child.  Why in the world would she want to spend her precious vacation time with an old person like me?

Those of us of a certain age remember being told by our parents, “Respect your elders.”  Respect means, “a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”  This meant we were to show respect toward older family members, teachers, the parents of our peers, and so on because of the wisdom and experiences they gained during their lives.  The unwritten flip side of such respect was that as “youngsters” we would learn something from the older generation; they would share their knowledge and wisdom with us in a way that might positively influence our own journey through adulthood.

When I was a young adult, and especially a young parent, I valued the opinions of older people who had been successful at “adulting.”  I had older friends who shared information about buying our first house, balancing work and family, saving for retirement (which seemed so far off back then), and all of the trials and tribulations of parenting.  These older people in my life had already navigated and more importantly had successfully come out on the other side of, all the things I was experiencing at that stage in my life.  They were there to assure me that things may be crazy at the moment, but I would be fine.  And they were correct.  Looking back, I would have been lost without their support and wisdom.

Today it seems like younger people, particularly young parents, feel that the older generation has nothing to offer them and thus the generation gap is becoming wider and wider.  The one thing that seems to be a primary cause of this widening is technology and all of its residual side affects.

There is no question that most “older” people don’t rely as heavily on technology.  This is primarily because most of us grew up without it.  Most younger people have never experienced a world without computers and cellphones and video games.  I say this not as a criticism; it’s simply a statement of fact.  That said, I don’t think that it is the practical aspects of using technology that are causing the issue.  I use my cellphone and tablet as much as anyone of any age.  The one place where I may show my age is that I still keep a paper calendar.  I believe, however, that this is a personal choice rather than an age thing.  Weber, who has already met age 60, is a diligent digital calendar keeper.  I love reading books and magazines on my iPad.  I will be the first to admit that tablets have been an awesome invention, truly a life-changer for me.  Now, I would be lost without mine.

So how is technology widening the generation gap?

In the depersonalization of human interactions.

“Real” conversations don’t happen as frequently.  Text messages and Facebook posts have replaced literal face-to-face conversations or even phone calls.  When conversations happen “live,” there is real emotion.  Misinterpretation is less likely to happen.  And if it does, it can be cleared up immediately rather than by an onslaught of painful messages or worse yet, public posts, that allow things to blown way out of proportion.  Often it seems that when words are typed, there is this weird perception that they are not directed at another human being, a real person, someone who has genuine feelings.  If many of the things that I have read on Facebook had to be said while looking another person directly in the eye, I suspect they would go unspoken.  And that might be a good thing.

It all comes back to respect, not just respect for our elders, but respect for one another no matter our age or age difference.  We all have experiences to share with one another – older with younger and vice versa.

My friend Becca and I both have albinism; it is through this commonality that we met, but albinism is not the primary pillar of our friendship.  Yes, we have talked about our different experiences navigating school, driving (or lack thereof in my case), and personal relationships and how albinism has affected them, but our relationship has grown beyond this to a multi-generational friendship.

So what did Becca and I do together while she was visiting?  We ate BBQ…well, because eating knows no boundaries.  We went shopping together.  Becca introduced me to new skin care products and I introduced her to a new clothing store.  She shared Norwex products with me.  I shared recipes and cooking techniques with her.  I tried to teach her to knit.  Let’s just say that the cooking was a little more successful 🙂  And, we shared dog stories and pictures.  I had a great time with her!  I truly cherish our friendship.

Between my family, friends, and students, I am blessed to have regular interactions with children in their first decade of life through people in their nineties.  There is a lot of experience, wisdom, and learning to be had amongst us all.  With a bit of respect for one another, all of our lives have the potential to be so rich if we are open to sharing them with one another.

Let’s do it!