I grew up hearing adults say that you should never discuss politics or religion with your friends.  As a kid, I didn’t think much about that because…well, even if I had discussed either of these two topics, the conversation would have been very short.  As I matured, I realized that politics and/or religion shape most, if not all, of our adult worldview.  Why would people not want to discuss these things that are seemingly so important?  It seems that if we had cultivated a means by which to have intelligent discourse around such topics, our world might not be so divided at the moment.  This question is too big and too heavy for today.  Moving on.

Speaking of too heavy…also on the list of taboo subjects to discuss openly are age and weight.  Again, I don’t understand why.  Both are easily proven facts.  They are what they are.  And by not discussing them, what information are you actually keeping from someone else?  If I don’t tell, others will come to their own conclusions one way or the other.  If I do tell how old I am, which I have always been perfectly willing to do…I’m 59…there are only three responses likely:

1.  That’s about what I figured.

2. You don’t look that old!

3. Wow! You look older than that!

I suspect that most people who are unwilling to disclose their age for fear of that last response.   Perception is reality.  Most of us probably don’t look our actual age in the eyes of others.

As a person with albinism, it is hard for people to pinpoint my age.  Think about it.  Hair color is the most obvious factor in trying to deduce someone’s age.  If it wasn’t, all of you who dye your hair to cover up those gray roots could save a lot of money!  As a child, most people saw me as ” a little  tow-headed kid.”  I heard over and over again what a shame it will be when I get older and my hair darkens.  Guess what.  That was never going to happen.  What did happen is that in my forties, because my hair was still white, I started being offered senior discounts. 🙂  And when that happened, I was faced with a moral dilemma.  Do I acknowledge the incorrect assumption and risk embarassing the usually very young cashier at McDonalds or the movie theater who is trying to be nice?  Or, do I enjoy that twenty-five cent cup of coffee and few dollar discount on my movie ticket?  Most often, I accepted the discount so as not to embarass the person who offered it.  I’m still not old enough for senior dicsounts at many places.  When outright asked if I’m of the qualifying age for a senior discount, I will answer honestly; and if I am some place where I am rightfully eligible, I may or may not think to ask for it.  I do have friends who keep tabs on all of those AARP discounts that are available at age 50.  Some of them are pretty darn good!  I am not too proud to use them…when I remember.

Getting older is certainly better than the only alternative.  And the truth is that unless you have a lot of money, you can’t defy the aging process.  Our bodies change.  They show wear and tear.  That is the price we pay for living.  It used to be that these signs of aging earned respect and the recognition that with years lived comes wisdom.  Do you remember studying the archetypes in literature classes?  Do you remember the Wise Man and Wise Woman characters?  They often held the key to the resolution of the battles encountered in the quest.  Our contemporary culture has come to a place where we devalue the wisdom of the elders.  That is a sad mistake, but us old people can’t tell those youngsters anything. 🙂

And then their is the dreaded sharing of our weight.  Again, why is it such a big deal?  The likely reactions of others are pretty much the same as the ones we can expect when divulging our age…

1.  That’s about what I figured.

2. You don’t look like you weigh that much.

3. I would have guessed that you weigh more than that.

People look at us and they decide either we are overweight or too skinny.  Are any of us really the “right” weight?  What does “the right weight” even mean.  Yeah, yeah.  There are all those charts, but I’m not sure that they have anything to do with real people.  The only person that I don’t like to share my weight with is my doctor because he believes in those charts…and unfortunately, he is the one person with whom I have no choice but to share.  Here is why I don’t like to talk weight with him and his charts.

Since I opened this can of weight worms, it’s time for full disclosure…

I saw my endocrinologist right before Christmas for a routine check of a benign thyroid nodule.  Of course, the first thing the nurse did was check my height and weight.  I am 5’5″ and that day I weighed 148 pounds fully clothed.  During my appointment with the doctor, he said nothing about my weight.  The next day, I got an email saying that the notes from my appointment were available on the patient portal.  When I looked, the first “diagnosis” listed was overweight.  The thyroid nodule, the actual reason I was there, was number three.  If you are wondering, dry skin was number two.  WTF!  Why did he think my weight was his primary concern?  Especially since I weighed less this year than I did at my last appointment?  BMI is dumb!  Seriously.  It doesn’t take into account age or…well…bone and boob size!  I am a big-boned, big chested girl.  Of course I am going to weigh more than someone who is  5″5″, 22, small-boned, and an A cup!  But, I’m not bitter or anything.

All of this to say, what are we really hiding by keeping our age and weight to ourselves?  People already have come to thier own conclusions about both.  At least if we share our correct information, the judgements they make about the next person may be slightly better informed!

And now this 59 year old and 150 pounds today, is going to go eat ice cream.  If I’m going to be viewed as overweight, I’m going to enjoy all the privilege that comes with it!