I recently discovered something about myself and I’m not sure that I like it.

On Monday, my youngest daughter sent me a text message saying that she was heading to Las Vegas on a last minute business trip.  My response to her was, “Be safe.”  Not, “Have fun.” or “Have a good trip.” or even “Win lots of money.”  But, Be safe.

I looked back through my Facebook feed where I had recently commented on posts by friends who are also traveling.  There it was again, “Be safe.”

I am not aware of walking around beneath a cloud of fear, but I guess, subconsciously, I do.  This is what life has become.  All we want is for our friends and loved ones to get where they are going, do what they need to do, and return home safely.  Yes, freak accidents have always been a worry, but I don’t think when my parents sent me to school for all those years that they worried about me being shot dead in my classroom.

Last Tuesday I walked into one of my own classes.  This was the first time that I had seen these students since the horrendous attack on the concert-goers in Las Vegas.  A normally bubbly student seemed very down.  I asked her if she was okay.  Her response, “The things going on in this world are terrible.  I don’t want to be in a big crowd anywhere.  I am a musician.  I used to love going to concerts; but now, I don’t want to go anymore because there may be crazy people there.”

What do you say to a comment like that?

The first thing that came to my mind was, “You’re right.”  Our discussion then turned from the Chopin Etude that we were supposed to be analyzing that day in class to thoughts and feelings around being safe.  We discussed the fact that The Meyerson Symphony Center, the home of the Dallas Symphony, does not practice any overt safety measures.  They don’t perform bag checks on their patrons and there don’t seem to be any metal detectors in place. On the other hand, Bass Hall in Fort Worth does do a hand search of every bag carried into the hall.  Admittedly, no system is perfect, but these days, seeing that something is being done feels better than seeing nothing.  It seems ridiculous to say that I might choose my entertainment venue based on its level of perceived security.  The reality is this: I am quite likely to choose my entertainment venue based on its level of perceived security.  Sad, but true.

The discussion with my class then turned to campus safety.  The asinine Texas legislature passed a bill allowing individuals with the appropriate license to carry concealed handguns on college campuses.  The law went into effect for four-year schools at the beginning of the 2016-2017 academic year.  For us, a two-year campus, the law did not go into effect until this academic year.  My students asked why anyone needs a gun on campus.  I have no answer to that question.  We have children on our campus as part of our Early College High School program and we also have toddlers in a pre-school program.  And yet, we are required by state law to allow concealed weapons on our campus.   What I do know is that my goal is to never piss off a student for fear that they might come to class a take us all out.  The ridiculous logic of the legislature is that if more people are armed, then the “good guys” can knock off “the bad guys” first.  Yeah right.

“Mr. Bad Guy, could you please wait for just a minute before you pull the trigger.  My gun is in my backpack.”

We all know that if anything “bad” goes down on our hall, we are all goners.  That is not a doomsday prophecy; it’s simply a fact.  Schools were not built to protect students from attacks by gunmen.  And they shouldnt have to be.  Yes, we do all of the lock-down drills and armed intruder drills.  We know what we’re supposed to do when it’s not a drill, but none of us believes that the plan will actually save us.  Hurling music stands as if they are javelins is our best defense unless we have time to create a barricade with a grand piano.

After this discussion with my class, I walked back to my office to eat lunch and catch up on Facebook. I ran across a post by a friend with a kindergartener.  She wrote about how her child was so excited to start school this year and all of the sudden this once enthusiastic child didn’t feel well, would do anything to get out of attending a particular class.   After diligently monitoring her child’s behavior over several weeks, this parent realized that the class that her child didn’t want to attend was the one she was in when the school had its lockdown/intruder drill and the child’s issues had started right after that.  What six-year old wants to go school after having “to practice” being shot at?  That is scary stuff for anyone, let alone a kindergartener!  And the truth is that no parent can say to their child not to worry, “it’s just a drill,” because the way the world is today, the next time there is every possibility that it may not be just a drill.  Though they may not say it, every parent thinks “be safe” as they send their children off to school each day.  And I suspect that the same is also true for many of us as we send our spouses, our friends, and ourselves out into the crazy, scary world day after day.  What a sad, sad state of affairs!

As much as I dislike it, I will continue to say, “Be safe.” to my family and friends when they travel afar or just go about their everyday routines.  It sounds like an admonition, but as I now think about it, it’s really my prayer for them.

Be safe, my friends. Amen.